im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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