the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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