I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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