I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
