i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
