You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
