so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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