Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
