you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
