It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The uberlube is also flammable
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
