I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Who did Billy Mays play for?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
