ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
