the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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