I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
