And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
