matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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