life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize