The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
