So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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