used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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