woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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