sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
