Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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