Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island

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(916): View more from California

Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be

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(903): View more from Texas

Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later

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(559): View more from California

Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck

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(850): View more from Florida

Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.

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(801): View more from Utah

Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...

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