you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
