Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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