Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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