So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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