You can't motorboat a personality
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Randomize
