We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
