she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
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