**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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