maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
