just come out here and I will go home with you...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I'm really busy with my period
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