I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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