I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
