and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
