So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
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Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.