Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize