my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
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Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
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How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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