she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
