i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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