I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
