just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
