TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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