he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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