his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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