Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
