doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
id be glad to
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
