did you get engaged???
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
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