so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize