Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
