Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
