She bit a glass in half.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
