i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
