OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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