i think my tv is drunk
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
