Tell her she can't have a vagina
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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