Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize