ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
