She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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