How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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