do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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