The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
