Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
