Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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