I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
